Losing Balance is an interesting phrase. We can lose balance physically. Often, this happens accidentally or is part of aging, muscle atrophy, or illness. We can lose our balance emotionally. Watching, reading, or listening to news reports can trigger horror, anger, or grief to such a degree we feel out of control. We can lose our balance mentally. Who among us has not had so much on their mind that they start losing track of all the threads? Perhaps, we fall into rumination. Rumination is a habit that can make us lose all aspects of balance.
What is balance anyway?
Typically, balance is defined as having equality of weight, proportion, value, or steadiness. And there is some truth to this. But, what we often don’t recognize is that balance is a negotiation of factors and that most of the time we are finding balance rather than being in balance. So, when we talk about losing our balance it’s because the negotiation has become too difficult or feels out of control.
When you lose your balance, you fall.
Or, at least, come close to it. In any case, it rattles us. it can hurt us. We begin to worry. But, falling isn’t just physical. Our moods can fall into despair, depression, or exhaustion. Our thinking can fall into defeatism or endless rumination. So, what to do about all of this falling?
When you lose your balance you need to see what is happening
If you fall off a curb it’s easy to see why you fell. If you talk to a friend dealing with something dire it’s easy to see why you may feel sad or angry for them. But, is it so easy when you can’t explain why you just feel unbalanced? This is the time you need to be a detective and observe with curiosity.
Being in observation means for the time being your emotions and preconceived thoughts need to get out of your way. In somatic movement, we dispassionately observe our habitual movements and uncover the glitches that impede our balance. This is huge! It means many things we attribute to clumsiness or aging are just habits that can be rewired. But, we have to find and observe them first.
The same is true when we lose mental and emotional balance. Are we accurately hearing, feeling, and seeing or are our thoughts and emotions triggered to the point when where lose clarity? Oftentimes, this means taking in information without allowing it to overwhelm.
Animals do this in the freeze stage. Predictably, when faced with danger they do nothing until they have observed enough to assess. This is called orientation. We use our senses to gather information. We also need to practice grounding so our brains are anchored by our lower bodies: our feet, legs, and tail.
To regain balance, see the big picture
I love the phrase open focus. It basically means to stop narrowing your attention to the details and get to the big picture. Maybe your physical balance has been altered by a night gaurd you have begun wearing. Unlikely, you say. No, everything int he body is connected so a difficulty can begin anywhere.
An idea that is helping me keep my personal emotional and mental balance is called extinction burst. So, this idea is that in the bigger picture the rise of things like white supremacy, misogyny, christian superiority etc is simply the last vigorous burst of energy a dying behavoir exhibits. It’s like taking ice cream away from a kid. If theyare used to having it and then you take it away, they will tantrum hard. They get more intense the closer they get to accepting that all that ice cream has been bad for the, Extinction burst is a way of seeing the bigger picture.
Somatically, engaging the bigger experience of the body gives us the wherewithal to deal with the difficulties of regaining our balance. Technically, we need to observe and then engage with our wholeness to sustain change.
When you lose your balance it’s hard to find a pathway
Typically, any time we feel overwhelmed or out of control we don’t perceive a way out. We don’t see how anything can get better. So, choosing to take a step forward into an action will get the ball rolling. With physical balance, you might strengthen muscles Emotional balance may involve breathing. mental balance may involve disciplining thoughts. However, it’s rare for anything to be a magic elixir. Usually, a combination of factors supports regaining balance. But taking your best first step is crucial..
Regaining balance can feel funny
Sometimes, regaining your balance is disorienting! In my clinical somatics practice, people often find whole new ways of walking. Recovering from the loss of mental or emotional balance means experiencing new ways of responding to yourself and others. Can can involve a new perspective.
Outside influences can cause us to lose balance
So, I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge that there are things we can’t control that deeply challenge our balance. Often we can’t change illness, political events, weather, or other people. So we may be deeply challenged. Yet, the principles above apply. Dig into them and let me know how you do!
Loosing balance often comes with grief
I offer ongoing courses and one on one sessions working through grief with your body. This is crucial because so much grief counseling and material focuses on the mental and emotional aspects of grieving. This is valuable and yet, engaging the presence and ground of my body with somatic movement (You can learn more about what that is here) is how I continue to get through all of those terrible emotions without being completely overwhelmed. Somatic Movement helps me keep an even keel and trust into the uncertain future.
If you want some embodiment, you can visit my Youtube Embodiment Meditations for Grief and Loss Playlist.
Most importantly, if you are someone you know is suffering with grief and loss reach out to me. It turns out, the wind does not have to be sucked out of your sails after loss.