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by Donna Brooks

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Somatics Helps Disappointment Overload

Right now, I need to apply somatic help for disappointment overload in my own life! You see, my husband and I have been house hunting. We  make really good offers and yet – no house!

Obviously, buying a house takes a lot of stamina and, increasingly, an ability to weather disappointment. Also, it takes being able to weather losing out. I have been thinking a lot about managing disappointment and also how to regulate my nervous system reactions in the face of it. After all, the only place we experience disappointment is in our body. Somatic help means helping your body process the disappointment.

Somatic help for disappointment applies to all life.

Perhaps obviously, disappointment is an experience of having to accept something we really don’t want to. It’s a crash course in feeling a sudden lowering of spirits and with it comes a temptation to give up.

Of course, a lot of people never even go for getting what they want. Saying no to trying or dreaming is a way of shielding ourselves from disappointment. But, it is understandable because the pain of disappointment and loss are so great.

Conversely, some of us do go for what we want but get disappointed. And, when the disappointment comes we try to stifle the feeling of it. While, I don’t think it is wise to try to run away from or suppress disappointment but I also know we can only take in and accept as much as we can in any given moment.

This is the secret to finding Somatic help for disappointment

It’s okay to take your mind off of the disappointment.  You might need to. But, at the end of the day, disappointment has to run through our nervous system.

What do I mean by running through our nervous systems? Well, when you or I are disappointed we are perceiving loss. Maybe we have sadness, grief, discouragement or pain. These are real experiences and our body must be able to process and metabolize them. 

The somatic help for disappointment is through the sensory nerves.

It’s our sensory nerves that take in our perceptions and information.  If disappointment is too great these nerves can actually get overwhelmed and we can fall into fight, fight or freeze. That means we get angry, depressed, anxious or fearful. Our minds ruminate.

Sensory overwhelm doesn’t just come from disappointments. Overwhelm of the senses can happen because of  sensitivity to bright lights, noise, pain, too much to pay attention to at once. other over stimulation.

So, I have had to learn to modulate my exposure to disappointment. This was especially true when my son died. There was no way I could feel that loss all at once.

I had to let myself feel it in spurts. It was too much to let it flood me all at once. Now, I can help you do this too. Try my little exercise below. It only takes 2 minutes. With little exercises like this, you can stop heightened.

Try this: Somatic for Disappointment and Loss

You can continue and deepen this journey by learning more on my website: . You can read more about what somatic movement is here. Learn to improve your breathing with somatic exploration. I offer classes, workshops and individual lessons world wide over Zoom. I offer in person work in Easthampton MA. You can also read more about somatics, disappointment and resilience here.